No Pineapple Left Behind is now available on Steam

In No Pineapple Left Behind, you have to run a school full of children. Children have lots of wants, needs, and feelings. That’s a problem, because if children get don’t pay attention in class and get low grades, your school loses money. However, you can turn children into pineapples. Pineapples only take tests and get grades. They do not have feelings and are not people, but they are simple to handle and therefore cheap.

I used to be a teacher, but I quit that job in 2012 in protest of the school’s mistreatment of my students. No Pineapple Left Behind is my critique of the public education system, particularly the corporatization and standardization that treats children as statistics in the name of profit.

Features:
•Nine different schools, each with unique features and challenges
•Manage the school’s curriculum, students, and staff without going bankrupt
•Cast magic spells like “Trigonomancy” or “Covalency” to teach students
•Dehumanize students in order to improve grades
•Work teachers to exhaustion and then fire them
•Dismantle the teacher’s union
•A sport called Fruitbol in which children throw pineapples at each other

Steam page: http://store.steampowered.com/app/350090

About This Game
In No Pineapple Left Behind, you have to run a school full of children. Children have lots of wants, needs, and feelings. That’s a problem, because if they get don’t pay attention in class and get low grades, your school loses money. However, you can turn children into pineapples. All that pineapples do is take tests and get grades. They do not have feelings and are not people, but they are much simpler to handle, and therefore much cheaper.
Features:
◾Learn about the shortcomings of modern education in this satirical game

◾Nine schools, each with unique challenges

◾Manage the school’s curriculums, students, and staff without going bankrupt

◾Dehumanize the children, turning them into orderly pineapples

◾Maintain a small staff of top-tier teachers or a large group of burned-out, underpaid teachers

◾Manipulate a child’s feelings with lasers

◾Cast magic spells like “Trigonomancy” or “Covalency” to teach students

◾Address parental concerns, or maybe ignore them altogether